I am a critical person by nature I think. It's something I've been my whole life. But I find that the problem I have with being critical about certain things and other people is that I was also raised by my Mom, who has always had this amazing positive outlook on life, which I think has probably gotten her through most, if not all, trials in her life. So she raised me to have a positive outlook on life, which is so great, but it contradicts my nature to be critical at times. It's often an internal subconscious struggle for me --should I look at this with a postive or negative outlook?
I also married someone who is critical by nature. In fact, I'll be telling him a story that someone may have told me and I may not have all the details right, and so he questions me on the story and can find holes in the story so easily. It is frustrating at times, especially when he reminds me that it is his job to be critical, that's what makes him good at what he does. This is true, but sometimes so annoying. :) I think our both being critical can rub off on each other at times and the two of us can point out faults about certain processes or how we would do things differently if we were to be in charge of something, etc., etc.
Recently, someone reminded me how important it is to not be so critical. Although we are related by marriage, I don't know this person too well. I had run into her at an event and I was pointing out some people who were possibly not doing what they were supposed to be doing. She turned to me and stated "I like to assume the positive. I always try to assume the positive unless I know otherwise." I'll admit it took me aback for a second, but I was so greatful for those words because it reminded me of how I should be thinking and talking. I really do think we get so much further in life if we are more positive thinking than negative thinking.
The other day I was out and about without any kids, including the baby. I was to run a quick errand and then get back to the Grandma's house, because she was the one left with the nursing baby (who fortunately does take a bottle). I sidetracked to run into a clothing store and get a couple of things, but I was rushing, that was until I got in line to check out. The lady in front of me had everything wrong going on. She was wearing the clothes she was buying and trying to find the tags so the check-out lady could scan them. She was trying to read the computer to double-check the prices as they came up, which was annoying the check-out lady. She wanted to use her Kohl's card, which she didn't have with her. Then she had to call and then wait for her husband who was out in the parking lot somewhere, to come help her pay for all of this. I was annoyed at first, as I think most people would be. Everything was taking forever! But I was looking at the lady and sort of realized that she was probably just having a bad moment. She probably wasn't always this annoying in the way she was checking out. I did overhear her say she had driven in from Tennessee for a wedding. So with this thought process, I tried to not let it get to me. I tried to smile and feel patient. I tried to think that this was more of an annoying moment rather than an annoying person. I thought of my best friend Alisa who ALWA YS laughs at these kinds of situtations rather than gets frustrated. I love that girl. (Really, laughter is so much better than frustration.) So the woman finally finished and appologized to me because she knew she was taking forever, and then left with her husband only to get back in the long line behind me because she didn't get her 15% off that she thought she was supposed to get. So it is finally my turn. The check-out woman was pretty livid. In fact she was so angry with this other person that she started thanking me profusely for my patience. She was so impressed with my patience she said that she was going to give me 10% off. And then after the other woman got back in line to say she didn't get her 15% off, the check-out lady sent her to customer service and ended up giving me 15% off my total purchase. I left feeling pretty happy and pleased with myself. Little did she know that patience doesn't necessarily come easily to me. But I think trying to look at the situation more openly and less critically helped. Anyway, it made for a good day and a good purchase. But I hope too that I can become a person who sees the good in things more than the bad, who has more patience each day, and who can balance out my critical nature with my positive upbringing.
